Emotional work

Do and get all you want and need most, and experience, in all their depth, the feelings that come up along the way. That's the core mantra of emotional work. It's fueled by two convictions. The first is that we do all the wrong things to stop feeling what we don't want to feel or think we shouldn't feel. We do everything from stiff upper lip, to "just change that negative feeling into a positive attitude", to caffeine, nicotine, booze, drugs, food, anything to get rid of that feeling, to bury it.

Just so we know who's who, there are no such things as negative feelings in my admittedly less-than-humble lexicon. If pain, fear, anger, need and joy are enabling you, your species, and all other species to survive--and I'm quite certain they are--there's no way any of those feelings are "negative."

My first conviction is there is one and only one thing to do about feelings. Feel them. And what I think works best is the cathartic stuff, the loud, violent, deep contorting, wild animal stuff. Don't hurt anything or anyone, least of all yourself. I don't think you'll like how any of that feels.

My second conviction is that total greed is what is going to save our species. Save it from what? What is threatening us? We are not,by the way, living through a population explosion. Human population growth rates have been dropping for decades in virtually all parts of the world. The exception used to be central Africa where AIDS and genocide now appear, cruelly, to be bringing that region in line with the rest of us. But in the rest of the world, population growth is declining because of affluence. Affluent humans reproduce less. Instead of families of ten or more, we affluents have familes of four or less. And everybody knows why: it costs a lot to give kids the skills required to stay affluent. Education is expensive.

And affluence is taking over the planet. Living standards enjoyed by a few people in a few countries are leveraging up among most people in most countries. It's happening, and I see little to stop it from picking up speed. And what do affluent people do? What is the essence, the definition, of affluence? Consumption! We consume!

Human consumption is what is exploding and is what I'm convinced threatens our survival and that of hosts of other species on earth.

Total greedis the answer?! I think it is. Totalgreed. Getting allof what we want and need most. The conviction is that our deepest wants and needs are non-material, that the overwhelming preponderance of our material consumption is aimed at filling non-material needs. The conviction is, if we get really good at meeting allour needs, we'll consume radically less.

We'll consume less and we'll give more. Giving is fun. Giving precisely what someone else then and there wants and needs most ranks high among the things that make me feel good. And I don't think I'm terribly different from other people. And it's not because giving is good and noble, some kind of self sacrifice. To me, giving feels good the way good sex does. And good eating. Giving what someone else really wants the most is sexy and delicious.

But my desire and intention is to make no judgment calls when supporting you doing and getting all you want and need most. I support you wanting the Ferarri, the villa on the Riviera. Look at my entries on the Wants/Needs Board if you want to see a material laundry list.

I support your wanting to break the law if that's what you want to do. I support your wantingto break the law. Give me the opportunity to give you that support and I'll tell you what Iwant: that you don't act in violation of anylaw. It will more than likely hurt you, one way or the other. And it could hurt me. So I might even blow the whistle. 911. I want you to work to change the laws you don't like and to experience the feelings driving you to break the ones that won't change.

Do and get what you want and need most and experience fullythe feelings that come up along the way. Including the ones that have been buried in some way most of your life. That is emotional work.

My conviction is that emotional work maximizes your power to adapt to your envirnment, to have the greatest fun and fulfillment in life while impacting your environment the least. The ultimate definition of efficiency. And I think the actual emotional work itself is fun. Even when you're getting deep into pain or rage or fear, really experiencing anxiety or depression in all their depths, it feels good processing it all, really feeling it. And of course, it feels great when you're done processing it, when it's gone.

But emotional work does more than just relieve me of uncomfortable or even crazy-making feelings. It connects me with my core energy source which is cooking full. My vision is clear, my will is strong, and I am on the move.

Click for the next item, emotional work interaction.

The near pond at the Woods Place, summer